pointlessblabs

i cannot believe that i remembered about good ole 'lj' until tonight when i had a bunch of crap on my mind !! which its too late now to try and get any of it out but im sure that tomorrow the thoughts will still be there and hopefully i'll remember !! :]

does anyone ever get on here anymore !?

There are reasons why i haven't updated this thing in a while. One reason is my notebook is fucked up. Another reason is I just haven't had the time to write for you fucks. And yet another reason would be that I no longer have internet.

I'll be back in the big V to the A April 4, 2007. Heads up to all the bitches who've been runnin their mouths about stupid shit. In the words of my famous friend whom we will call 'Druce', "my name aint dick so keep it out'cha mouth", ya dig!?

I suppose that's it for now, so fuck you.

As i haven't updated in a while, i figured that i'd take the time to do so now.

1. i have 2 jobs i work at Capitol Filmworks and babysit for Tasha in the evenings, every evening.
2. i have an Explorer. nothing special i guess, just an explorer.
3. im happy.

Things have been going really good with me here lately. Laura and I are closer than we've ever been and we've pretty much kind of closed most of the group out. Except for maybe on the weekends. I'm still kind of talking to Dustin and I'm still kind of involved with MJ. MJ and i just dont talk as much anymore. We've got two totally different schedules and it's hard. But it's okay, he just got a BMW by the way. It's nice.

My dad is still over seas ... he's not in the army, just in the Phillipines. I think he'll be back sometime around next spring or summer. I'm not really sure on that exactly!

I guess that's all for now, i have to get into bed so that i can get up in the morning and go to work. nite.

IF YOU ARE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, OR IF I AM ON YOURS, PLEASE FILL THIS OUT:

1. name:
2. birthday:
3. place of residence:
4. what makes you happy:
5. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. do you read my LJ:
7. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. an interesting fact about you:
9. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favorite place to be:
11. favorite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13. Do you remember when we met?
14. Have I been a good friend to you?
15. Tell me something you've never told me before.

PLUS

1. one thing you like about me:
2. two things you like about yourself:
3. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you.
4. post a picture you (if possible)

..just wanted to say that im bored..

thats all.

( l0VE MAKES THE W0RlD G0 R0UND )

So here i am in Auburn .. staying at the apt. Wow at the memories here. Me and Amy had some crazy times in this apt last year. I dont even have shit to update about really. Last night I hung out with Dustin. Seems he's the only one who gives a fuck about me leaving the ville .. but i think he might come up and visit me. Laura said she'd come visit me, and so did Cristen. We'll see it when it happens. It's only an hour away really. Maybe a lil longer. I'd like to think that i'm worth the drive honestly. I totally forgot my digi. That kinda sucks, but i can just get a disposible cam and then just scan the pix later. Not much to really take pix of now anyways, not until the weekend at least!! I so cant wait until the weekend either!! Gonna be chillen with all my Auburn folks .. partyin down at the Highlands!! Gah I cannot wait!! Imma have so much fun here!! I wish Amy were here with me!! :(

"Believe Me"
Fort Minor

[chorus]
I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

I don't want to be the one to blame
You like fun and games
Keep playing em
I'm just saying
Think back then
We was like one and the same
On the right track
But I was on the wrong train
Just like that
Now you've got to face the pain
And the devil's got a fresh new place to play
In your brain like a maze you can never escape the rain
Every damn day is the same shade of grey

Hey
I used have a little bit of a plan
Used to
Have a concept of where I stand
But that concept slipped right out of my hands
Now I don't really even know who I am
Yo, what do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free
What ever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me

[chorus]
I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

Back then, I thought you were just like me
Somebody who could see all the pain I see
But you proved to me unintentionally
That you would self-destruct eventually
Now I'm thinking like the mistake I made doesn't hurt
But it's not gonna work
Cause it's really much worse than I thought
I wished you were something that you were not
And now this guilt is really all that I got

You turned your back
And walked away in shame
All you got is a memory of pain
Nothing makes sense so you stare at the ground
I hear your voice in my head when no one else is around
What do I have to say
Maybe I should do what I have to do to break free
What ever happens to you, we'll see
But it's not gonna happen with me

[chorus]
I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

[bridge]

[chorus]
I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
Then you don't have to believe me
But I won't be there when you go down
Just so you know now
You're on your own now believe me

Do what i have to do
You're on your own now believe me

What ever happens to you
You're on your own now believe me

What do I have to say
You're on your own now believe me

It's not gonna happen with me
You're on your own now believe me

i have spent the past two days helping mom and them move into their new place. it's nice, of course!

i've only had 2 hours of sleep ... i've been bustin my ass all day long and all day yesterday, can you imagine how i feel right now?

sore. tired. grumpy. hungry. dirty.

Friday ... me and devin went to steven and amanda's he stayed the night here with me

Saturday ... woke devin up for work, he left for work, i went to do family things, he came and picked me up, we went to steven and amanda's, we stayed the night there

Sunday ... it was easter and steven didnt wake us up at 7 so devin and i could go to his house and get ready for church .. we headed to devins at like 9 something, got showers, got dressed, went to his granny's and ate, then went to his dads, then went back to his house, he brought me home at 10 last night

Monday ... devin called and woke me up at 11 this mornin, did laundry, ate dinner, mom and them came over, talked to devin on the phone since he didn't come over today, laura came over, now here i am


that's the update!

The trip to the beach with Nicole, Chris, && Dustin was great fun! I waited too long to update about it so there really isn't any spark to anything I have to say anymore. Sorry.

This is so lame.

Good frickin mornin! I woke up this morning, after not catching hardly any sleep, at 8am. The first thing I did, after wanting to throw Dustin's alarm clock out the window, was smoke a cigarette and call Carlos. Which I did by the way. He has a hangover this morning, and I'm just lacking sleep. Nicole and Chris are still sleeping sound and I suppose Dustin is still asleep as well.

Me and Nicole stayed here at Chris and Dustins last night. We really didn't do anything except for drink a lil and hang out. It was cool watching them jam. Totally neat. Now today, this morning, we're all supposed to be going to the beach. I think some other dude is going with us too, I'm not really sure yet. I just kinda wish everyone would wake the fuck up already!

Guess I'll update about the beach, again, when I get home .. IF PPL EVEN LEAVE ME FRICKIN COMMENTS!!!!!

i think i made a mistake last night

Wed. will be the first vacation of 2006. Me, Elise, Laura, and Leann will be going to the beach, Panama City bound! We're stayin in the condo - thank goodness cuz for a while i thought that we'd have to stay at a nasty, crusty, cheap hotel or something!! Anyone who knows me should know that hotels creep me out when I'm on vacation!! I'll get a cam and all that junk .. I'd stick to just my digi but I also want pix to put into my photo album that is half empty. It should be pretty fun if I do say so myself!!

Anyway, thought I'd let you all know that!! Have a good 'en!!

been cleanin moms house for the past two days and my TMJ (lock jaw) is kickin in

needless to say i dont feel very good

"iNCASE Y0U DiDNT KN0W i l0VE Y0U. i JUST WANTED Y0U T0 KN0W. THERES S0 MUCH i WANNA SH0W Y0U && i'll NEVER lET Y0U G0. Y0U'RE All i WANT i'll GiVE iT All T0 Y0U, Y0U'RE All i WANT RiGHT N0W..."

I ended up sleeping all day yesterday. Devin called me a bunch and so did Laura and Leann. I have no clue really what they wanted but it's straight. I'll just call them today. I haven't been to bed which I guess since I slept all day yesterday I shouldn't be sleepy. It's prolly like my 1-2pm right now?? IDK.

I've noticed that no one is commenting on any of my entries ... why not??

Anyway, Amy is gone to New York again. She'll be back in a few I guess. The whole me quitin smokin thing is going really good! I haven't really had a cigarette in while!! That's cool huh?? yeah you could give two fucks less I'm sure.

MJ and I are .. well we're still kickin ... 2 more weeks and it'll be our year of whatever the hell you want to call us!! guess that's neat. Speaking of a year, it's almost been a year since I've been to VA to visit!! I'll be coming up there shortly though! I cannot wait!!

Speaking of visit, I'll be going to the beach WED. of next week!! It'll be fun!! So far thought it's only Me, Devin, Laura, & Leann ... Sean is goin to come on SATURDAY just for the day or whatever. It'll be intresting and lots of fun!! I think we'll be seeing Criss down there too cuz he's visiting his mom and stuff for the moment .. so I think it'll be lots of fun!! I so cannot wait!!

Other than that I dont guess there's anything worth talking about. Imma go and get semi dressed and blow dry my hair. I'm goin over to moms for a lil bit today, she has the day off cuz she's sick and stuff.

Some of you dont have tokerjoker on your friends list .. so you missed my first picture entry on there ... so here is the link to view that!

CliCK HERE

if you dont have this journal on your list then please add it and i'll add you back as soon as i see you've added me so i know who to add and all that junk .. k.thanx.

THE WKND
Friday was boring. I fixed my brothers hair and that's about it! You can check out the pix on tokerjoker later on today. I will be posting them there! Yes I still have that journal, I'm going to make it into a picture journal! Neat.

Last night was pretty much just as boring cept Cristen came over and my brother went to a party. I dropped him off at 7 and picked him up at 11. He had fun I guess. Cristen stayed over here till about 12 something and then me and brother stayed up till about 3am.

This morning I'm up early! I'm supposed to fix Cristen's hair today, put her some cornrows in. Logan and some other dude want me to fix their hair too. I dont think I'll be doing everyones hair today, but I'll be doing Cristens that's for certain.

ANNOYANCES & SUCH
The amount of immature bullshit continues to grow and grow! Seems like everyone likes to act like they're in highschool. It's really becoming a problem. I think I'm going to go through my friends, pick out the most mature ones, and stick with them! I'm going to try not to let the immature bullfuck get in the way.

Daddy has informed me that I will not be going to work in Auburn on the 20th. The job was cancelled and now I'm pissed! This means that I have to start looking for other, non-family jobs again! I really don't like this! It was going to be money in my pocket, a nice swole 12,000 dollars in my pocket! I am totally pissed! But whatever, I'll juss find something else that pays me a lot of money.

Other than these things I'm doing just fine and dandy!

FiGURED i'D lET Y0U All KN0W THAT i CHANGED MY lAY0UT

iT'S CUTE!

i'll UPDATE lATER, CRiSTEN iS HERE RiGHT N0W :)

i uh .. just wrote this poem thing for my brother .. for his class or whatever .. some kind of project bullshit ... thought i'd post it on here see what you guys think .. there was a 125 word limit on it so yeah .. it's not too shabby i dont guess ... ok here goes

"Finding that Certain Peace"


I'm looking for that certain piece
a piece we cannot see
something that can't determine
the difference in you and me

I'm told that it's quite large
and its power is under-rated
but if we hold each others hand
we won't be devastated

We'll gather all the lonely
and call among the strong
We'll ask the help of righteous men
to help invite the wrong

The women and their children
will be there this I'm sure
Along with all the people
who still need to find a cure

No one cares about your color
no, it's not about your race
It's not about your eyes
or the nose upon your face

I'm looking hard, it's hard to see
that little thing called unity

Well this is like the second or third weekend .. i think the second .. that i haven't gotten drunk or been to Mike, Matt, and Corey's to party down! I kind of miss the whole party thing, but at the same time I don't ... It's the best thing for me I know, and I know that he will be happy to hear that i didnt get fucked up this weekend.

He is so good like that. He don't cuss often at all unless he is mad, he don't drink alcohol, he's a virgin (how awesome is that), he don't smoke, he's the lead singer of a band, he has a job and pays bills, he's drug free, and he stands up for what he believes - could anyone be any more perfect for me? He is exactly what I need in my life!! We've been .. friends .. talking .. w/e .. for 10 months now, a year in April. I've already changed a lot since he's been in my life and suprisingly I actually like it. I'm sure you all remember a certain asshole that I used to be with .. (and so help me god if you have something to say about calling him an asshole you can kiss my motherfuckin ass b/c YOU DONT KNOW what we went through and YOU DONT KNOW what he was like behind closed doors .. and im not just talking about the cheating .. everyone knew he cheated on me but NO ONE knows about half the shit that went on between us. some of you know some stuff he did and put me through, but no one but him and i know everything) the way that he tried to change me only made me upset and rebellious - to an extent. However with him it's not like that, it's more like I actually do want to do good ...

Anyways ... i guess that I'm goin to go though cuz mom is on her way over with some dinner from Arby's ... we're going to have dinner together ... what a dinner i know right